My poor knees

I’m writing this to you completely hungover and in a cloud of feffing depression.

Last night was first Sunday back at college, which basically means major piss up. So myself and ever expanding Sheller, and her AMAZING mates ‘Marion‘ & ‘Jus-lightweight-tine‘ drank an obscene amount of alcohol in Sheller’s apartment and went out on the lash.


I love Marians.

After we listened to Justines obscene taste in music and talked alot of sh&te, we walked downstairs to get a taxi. So there I am, walking outside of the apartment , drink in hand and what happens? BAM. On theeee ground. My little cute party cup (courtesy of the aforementioned amazeballs Marian) containing my oh so important €4 wine, went everywhere and I’m now left with knees that resemble something that was on a Vietnam war veteran.


At the time alcohol numbed the pain, and a bitta paper on the knees to clear up blood whilst in the toilets of Molloys did the ole job (much to the disgust of the Nigerian lady selling lollipops who kept informing me that my friend (Sheller) will be throw out if ‘she does not get down off the toilet’. Classssy mates I have. Justine at this point was off shiftin a lad who said he liked her wrists, and Marian was pickin a fight with someone who called her ‘Claire’. Fieshty one our Marian). We carried on dancing like idiots amongst what appeared to be an underage disco (judging by the crowd) and after alot of schmokin and dhrinkin, we wobbled off to Supermacs (not before trying McDonalds & Burger King first – they were closed). 

Chicken Breast Sandwich and chips….devine. Also swallowed most of Shell’s garlic dip, and whatever was left of it seemed to set up camp on her dress and chin. Shexy. Left there to get a taxi and Shell basically threw out the leg to hail one, but to no avail. Buurn. I wouldn’t do her either. Rotton Roscommon tramp. Got one anyway, got home, passed out.

Woke up to messages from Shell with just ‘Eugh’ in the text in relation to our 10am lecture this morning. Had completely forgotton about the knee incident, so throw the legs on the ground to get up. OUCH. Fucking hell they hurt.

There didn’t appear to be any blood on them, so I said I’d wear tights & brogues to college to ‘give them air’ (the knees now). WORST.IDEA.EVER. Blood has seeped through the tights and the tights are now part of my body. Still haven’t the guts to rip them off yet.

I’ll need another 2 bottles of wine in me to do it. I think Marian is studying nursing too so she can bandage the shit outta it. Until then, KOL will sooth my pain.

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